Rock and Roll and Taxes
When was the last time I had checked the mail? It was a valid question that my manager, Stacy was repeating to me. “Um, yeah what?” was my reply. Smart.
“Alex, I said when was the last time you checked your mail? You know the place you get letters from grandma, bills, important tax documents sent to,” she replied, she seemed agitated.
“Oh yeah, the mail. Yeah, I haven’t got one of those,” I replied.
“Alex everyone has “one of those”!” Stacy was yelling now. That was never a good sign. “How can a famous, professional musician not know this?!”
She is infuriated now I can tell. “You have millions of fans, a hit song, and are on the shortlist for standout Rockstar of the year and you won’t be able to attend the ceremony because where will you be? In jail, that’s where all because you haven’t paid taxes, like ever!” Stacy took a long breath and rubbed her temples.
“Could I, like, pay them now?” I asked. Her face turned red.
“I will set up a meeting with a bookkeeper and we will try to get in front of this,” she replied. “I’m serious though you might be going to jail.”
A day past and then my alarm went off at eight. I don’t mean eight PM, I was actually up at eight AM. It was a first for me. I rolled out of bed and got ready. Stacy was waiting outside and we drove to the meeting.
As we walked in the air seemed to drop ten degrees. Two men sat behind a desk with very serious looks on their faces. I could tell they meant business so I thought I’d let Stacy do the talking. Supposedly, this was the best bookkeeping company in the area. We introduced ourselves and they all started talking. I swear I tried to pay attention but my eyes glossed over and honestly, I spaced out. About an hour later I recognized the agent with the bald head was speaking to me. I almost giggled because I realized he looked like Mr. Clean but I held it together.
“Mr. Starfield? Can you agree to these terms?” Crap what… I looked at Stacy. She had her say yes or I’ll kill you face on.
“Yes sir, of course. I’m sincerely sorry again for the hassle and inconvenience I may have caused,” I replied glancing at Stacy. Yay, I thought, now she was wearing her “good boy” face which was way better than the killing me face.
“Alright, we will have the documents drawn up and sent over,” muscular agent was talking now. He looked like Hulk Hogan, but again I didn’t laugh. Go me!
“Ahh, yes,” I replied, “You mean by mail of course.” I smiled.
“Um yes… I mean by mail Alex,” the agent replied.
Stacy looked ready to slap me. “On that note,” she chimed in, “thank you gentleman so much for your time. We will be in touch soon.”
We all shook hands again and Stacy and I exited. “I think that went well!” I said, “So what exactly did I just agree to?” Stacy rolled her eyes and got in the car. I reached for the passenger side door but it was locked. “Um, Stac? The car door is,” and off she went. Geez well, I guess I’ll have to check my mail from now on.
These were the guys we were working with if you were curious:
Smart Bean Inc
17291 Irvine Blvd #104
Tustin, CA 92780