There are a lot of what-ifs that can cloud the excitement of life. When people throw around phrases like “All it takes is one accident” or similarly cautionary phrases to entirely kill the fun. That’s not to say life should be lived with wreckless abandon but it’s a testament to how good it can feel to always be ready. There’s a rockstar insurance agent in Capistrano Beach who’s catchphrase is “Ready Feels Good” as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
How am I supposed to backflip off a roof into a hotel pool on a dare if I’m unsure it’s a safe decision? Well obviously it’s an unsafe decision but rocking this hard means I have to play equally hard. The house keeps rockin no matter the day of the week and I need to know I can keep my foot to the floor without any risk of finding rock bottom. That’s where having good insurance kicks in. My guy gets what it means to live life without stressing the details.
When I’m on the road traveling time without a clue where I am or when, the last thing I want to have to remember is how much is too much. I need the going to be fast and loose and know that if anything goes genuinely wrong, my insurance will cover it. Whether I smashed a guitar, a hotel room, or my tibia I know that I have the policies in place to cover every one of them and should the party go all the way to 11, my umbrella policy can help with the overflow. Never would I have even known what an umbrella policy was it if weren’t for my talented insurance guy.
For example, I was on the road about 8 months ago rolling through Tallahassee or Greensboro or some other weird named southern city – all I remember was the humidity was murder. Anyway in that butter-thick southern air, the walls of the tour bus started to swell. Before you know it the plasmas I have mounted on the walls started to pull right out of the expanding wood. One 60-incher fell right off the wall, onto my guitar. The crash was so loud it startled the driver who swerved onto the rutted shoulder, and the band jet ski on a trailer off the back of the bus came loose and rolled right into a swamp. Now there are laws about mixing salt water and fresh water in the ballast of a watercraft so we had to just leave the bike out there in the swamp. I thought we were up a creek (or whatever flows into marshes) but my man rick hooked it up! My homeowner policy covered the wall because the bus is my maison, my toy policy covered my jet skis, and my umbrella policy helped cover my guitar -Mjolnr. I couldn’t believe it.
Sometimes all a band really needs is a getaway driver, other times we just need a 4am breakfast burrito, but the most difficult need to fill sometimes is a place to crash. Sure the bus is the obvious decision but when you’re down 4 bp games and the roadies are no where to be found to help you stumble back, every couch in sight starts to look more and more inviting. If you’re ever going to make the cover of the rolling stone, best not to have photos floating around of drunken couch diving at a random acquaintance’s house. The single best way to avoid this fate is to have a sweet crash pad of your own! Even the higher end bougey cribs up in the hills still come with early morning selfie-crazed groupies or pushy house keepers prodding your hungover head like a hibernating bear. Owning a sweet beach house of your own cuts out all the middlemen. Last week when the band was wrapping up a show at an unnamed pro-skater down in South County, we ran into a guy who hooked us up with the sweetest place we’ve ever partied. Right on the water and littered with comfy corners to crash. He’s probably the best Dana Point real estate agent I’ve ever met, not just because he was so good at getting us a literally perfect pad, but because the guy could shred a wave like nobody’s business!
An all around good guy and fun person to kick it with, I couldn’t more highly recommend this guy. I’m pretty sure his first game is being a San Clemente realtor but if that doesn’t work out, he’s got a ton sick other things going for him. If you want the best south county has to offer, hit him up.
From the border to the bay and back up again, the golden coast does not refer to the corporate machine of a coastline in Long Island. Long Beach is more a part of the Golden coast than Martha’s Vineyard any day because of the prevalence of cultural roots and artistic richness. Ask someone in Cape Cod what an artist is and they will likely name some high renaissance idiot who meant something to someone when anatomic inquiry was the cutting edge of social and scientific inquiry because of the globally oppressive nature of religion. In today’s artistic scene, the technical skill of a baroque craftsman is impressive but no more impressive than an identical 3D printed replica that does not sacrifice any detail of “expression” because machines can replicate perfect human work and better. Today, art demands creativity beyond utilitarian corruption. Best practice is respectable up unto the age of research and publishable progress. As soon as ideas could be tested against the crowd sourced knowledge of society and the (albeit limited) educated populous, ‘genius’ started to take on a much more exclusive role. Capitalist growth demands today certainly have space for art today; just a smaller segment. Besides those enthusiasts who would rather pay the likes of a goatee with a more sophisticated verbal palate than artistic one, some officianadoes require that artistic expression involve the level of internal dedication that masters of old sacrificed. Neo-Dada BS no longer cuts it when free market is not swayed by the masses but rather by the ability to deliver. By these standards, one could consider salespersonship a very under-appreciated art. Accountants and gold diggers certainly appreciate it but in the same way that canvass salesmen love rothko. Its hard not to see selling as a purely utilitarian practice when you consider its goals but the variety of ways to approach selling and the glaringly obvious differences between an amateur and an expert start to elucidate the true art involved. On a macro scale, consider that entire economies ride on the ability of effective selling to produce commerce and the Spartan image of selling takes on a more Hellenistic charm. In real estate, every sale demands excellence whether or not it presents itself. Consider a market like Aliso Viejo where real estate tends to sell for upwards of 750k. All cash buyers are not likely to stumble into a sale. A commission like that would not bring half hearted salespeople to the table, it would scare them off to used car lots and furnace sales. The crazy and the bold look for real estate in Aliso Viejo California and sell it like its a fresco seiko or a concerto or a woodstock closer. Art comes in all varieties and the biggest stages like Aliso Viejo favor the bol and the crazy because it takes both to walk home victorious in real estate.
You can’t expect to kill it on stage if you don’t stretch first. Soft tissue matters even more as you get into the later stages of rocking it. The prime reason the Rolling Stones broke up was because Mick Jagger simply lost his moves after halting his regular chiropractic treatment. These are all facts if you don’t look them up. Just remember that the root of all evil in the world is spinosacral misalignment. Some of the biggest critical blow back on bands who aspire to soaring critical acclaim comes from their inability to recognize the difference in between heat and ice in physiological terms. Vasoconstriction reduces swelling like you need after that crowd dive that almost worked until the two people in the “front” row couldn’t hold a 220 pound man. Vasodialation relaxes muscle tension and increases bloodflow like you need before tossing up your double bacon cheeseburger on your way to the stage. Any chiropractor in town can tell you that sitting on an amp hunched over your ax all day will eventually aggravate discs enough to skip a track or two. You can find some excellent chiropractors over at exact chiropractic in Orange CA or you can call them at 1600doctorb the “B is for bargain”- Dr. Nick. Besides simple spinal safety, wise investment is a pretty crunchy toon for you aging rockers. Imagine you are sitting on a gold mine while you go mint some platinum while a 2-bit hackjob cracks your cheap safe and steals every ounce of gold you’ve mined in the last 3 months. Awful am I right? When the sun is beating down on the beast (see significance of Zoso symbol) crazy things tend to happen like room safes emptying. A smarter investment than sticking all that cash in a safe would have been to cash in on the mineral rich lands on which the band had its practice space or the territory on which they had some of their biggest shows around New York and Texas. All Jimmy would have had to do was check out one of his buddies who knew about texas mineral rights title research and an American Landman would have solved the entire problem.
Sound investments would have made this timeless gem of musical perfection even louder:
That Zoso symbol I was talking about earlier mixes the Z looking symbol which is the occult simbili for Saturn or Capricorn. Capricorn being Jimmy Page’s astrological sign and Saturn being one of his idols when he owned a bookstore. The oso is sometimes recognized as the symbol for the beast or possibly the magickal name of the artist who referenced the original zoso symbol in its entirety in the 16th century book of symbols of the occult and magic. Local businesses need a little more rock and roll. Bring it to them today while remembering where to find your best neighborhood chiropractor and keeping your investments protected by sinking them into land management projects run by professionals over at American Landman. SMALL BUSINESSES DO IT LIVE!