No one wants to talk about divorce. It’s about as exciting as discussing payment plans or leasing agreements. They’re long, messy, boring, and involve all sorts of legality nonsense that no one wants to deal with.
But let’s say you’re in a situation where you just really, really need a divorce lawyer — or at least someone who can seal the deal so both parties can get some closure? Where do you even start? Just Google it and wait for the ones who charge the most to come up first?
This is the conundrum that Ben Greenheld had, the drummer for an up-and-coming rock band in Southern California. The life of a touring musician doesn’t exactly facilitate the separation process, especially when funds must be so carefully handled. This is when Michael Rena, the band’s lead singer, came to the rescue.
“The separation with my ex-wife was painful enough, but not being able to find someone affordable enough to give both of us some closure? That was the really cruel thing. All we wanted was someone who would make the process go as smoothly as possible.”
Luckily, a referral from a friend solved Rena’s problem. This referral pointed to a lesser-known alternative to pricey lawyers: divorce mediation.
“It literally accomplishes the same task, it’s just like a fraction of the price,” Greenheld explained. “When Mike told me about this, I was dumbfounded. I had never even heard of a mediator. Why wasn’t this option more discussed?”
Divorce mediation is one of the best-kept secrets in the industry of family law. Why? Because they don’t have the huge price tags of divorce lawyers that allow them widespread advertising. Think about how both of these men were referred to mediation — through word of mouth.
“Without having a mediator for divorce specifically, I’m not sure how we could have done it. I kept thinking there would be some sort of catch — but it was the exact same result for a tenth of the price. I would give it my highest recommendation.”
Not only is it more affordable, but a mediator can make the divorce process significantly shorter than a divorce lawyer could. Since neither Greenheld nor Rena had children, the typical process could last up to a year. However, when they used a mediator, it took a little over 90 days for everything to become finalized. But, if you do have kids and are going through a divorce, they have amazing support for that as well!
“They certainly don’t rush you by any means,” Rena clarified. “They make sure it’s not one those “on-a-whim” or “power play” things. Just like a divorce lawyer, these guys really have seen everything. And they’re completely professional about all of it.
At the end of the day, most mediators have the same goal: to take something that is already unpleasant in nature, and to make the process as smooth as possible (while not setting fire to your savings account). Rena and Greenheld were shocked that more people weren’t aware of this resource, and I wanted to make sure the word got out. If you have been a reader of this blog for a while, you may remember my own divorce dealings which I wrote about here.
If you are looking for a great divorce mediator, you can check out:
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660
Being rockstar means you get lots of attention. You get attention from your fans, the press, your producer, record label, and way too many tabloids. When you live a fast and exciting life and people learn about it, people become drawn to it. I believe that one of the reasons fans like to come to see us play is because they get to live vicariously through us. To take a part in our crazy lives. People romanticize the rockstar lifestyle because in a lot of ways it is romantic. As your fame grows, so does the amount of women or men that are after you. In my case, many many women want more than just watching a show. They want a bigger piece of this rockstars life. Vicariousness isn’t enough so they use lust and love as an avenue straight into a rockstars life. Speaking from personal experience, it works. I have had my fair share of quick lusts and loves. Women that blow into my life as quickly as they leave. Some leaving some minor scrapes and bruises and others taking big chunks that leave even bigger scars. Good thing I like scars. They add depth and complexity to the persona that is my rockstar image.
Over the course of a rockstars career, he or she will meet one or two special people that will change things forever. They are the people you write songs about, show off to the public, fall asleep with every night regardless of the many other bed offers, and ultimately love at a deeper level than you even knew you had. Once in this territory, marriage becomes a real viable thing when it once was a joke. That thing normal people did, never a rockstar. Nope, marriage can be for everyone, until it’s not. What? Did you think I was going to tell you about a happily ever after? This is a rockstars marriage and most of them do not last. Mine was no different. I met this beautiful California girl from Orange County. She was something else. She was so good at keeping my attention, I almost lost my fame. My life continued to be hard and fast but it was mostly in her direction instead of my own. When I tried to reestablish my public image as still the head of the band in my own rockin power, she wouldn’t have it. She wasn’t getting my undivided attention anymore. She was getting plenty of my attention but less than before would never be enough. So what happens next? Divorce and that gets real dicey real fast when fame and fortune are involved. What I learned is you can litigate or mediate and boy is mediation the cheaper and more cordial route. You just have to convince the other party to mediate, which I did successfully! How you ask? I found the best mediation specialist in Orange County, where she was from. This mediation expert was able to walk us through our divorce together costing us 90% less than what it would have if we took the litigation route. I don’t believe in any other magic other than the magic of rock and roll but this family law specialist was able to conjure up agreements that my soon to be ex and I could agree on. For all you other rockstars out there reading this and wondering how in the hell this could be true, I assure you that it really is. Check out this divorce mediation specialist here on Yelp! I’ve never seen so many good reviews in one place.
Don’t break the bank during your first divorce. You need to be able to keep the rock machine going to you can keep living the lifestyle you love! You also need to make sure you are whole for the second marriage that’s bound to show up when you least expect it. As always, keep on rockin beautiful people and stay tuned for another drop of rockin knowledge in my next post. Rock On!