“Tristin, are you still in bed? You need to get up and get ready right now!” Tornado Trixie had entered his room in a swirl, throwing his curtains open. “It’s noon Tristin, NOON! No wonder your marriages haven’t worked out.”
“Ha Ha Trixie,” Tristin muttered sarcastically.
Trixie smiled back at him, “What are little sisters for? Now get up, we need to go meet your divorce mediator. Do you realize the gobs and gobs of money you are going to have to pay if you don’t show up to this meeting? I mean honestly, they might just give everything to her. At least she doesn’t smell like a high school locker room,” Trixie pinched her nose, and fanned her face.
Tristin peeled off his sweaty socks as he sat up, and threw them directly at her head, “I’ll meet you in the car.”
Trixie shrieked and ran out of the room. Five minutes later Tristin joined his little sister in the garage. She was seated in the driver’s side of his new BMW. It was probably good she drove after the night he had. The sped down Ocean Avenue towards the mediator’s office. Tristan had used her before, she saved his ass a ton of money, she is the best divorce mediator in Orange County.
When they pulled in her assistant, Macy, was waiting for them outside, “You’re five minutes late.”
“And you’re paid an obscene amount of money to tolerate me,” Tristin smiled sweetly back.
“Hmm, cute,” Macy replied, “Now let’s go, your ex-wife is here already.” They walked into the building, and minutes later were seated opposite Tristin’s ex-wife, the notorious Tinsley Teagely.
“Tinsley,” Tristin said coolly.
“Tristin,” Tinsley responded. It felt like someone had set the AC to 50 degrees.
“So, let’s get started,” the mediator said, taking immediate control of the situation. “As we all know our clients here have sadly, decided to go their separate ways. While Tristin may have brought in most of the household funds, he feels it is only right that Tinsley is well taken care of after their divorce is finalized.” Tinsley shifted in her chair, she was ready for a fight, but Tristin seemed much more willing to negotiate than she assumed.
They spent a few hours working through all of the belongings and assets. This was the first time they had talked this peacefully in months and both parties were surprised at how easy this process was. Tristin thought he was going to get an earful, and rightfully so given that the marriage is ending because he is an out of control, womanizing party mongrel.”
The mediator smiled and turned to Tinsley, “Look Ms. Teagely, you have been doing an excellent job. You both have. And just think, doing it this way keeps this whole ordeal out of the tabloids. I’m so thankful you didn’t go the traditional litigation route. This would have been made a public spectacle, drawn out for months, and costing you both tens of thousands more.”
“Exactly, and the last thing we need is to be caught up in some pesky, drawn-out public divorce,” Tinsley replied. “I’m just glad we don’t have any kids involved in this. Otherwise, we would need to find a family law firm in Orange County and that would make things so much more complicated.”
Tristin nodded his head in agreement. “You’re right. And didn’t I tell you, she was great? I guess having some experience in this came in handy after all!” Tristin said and then instantly got a glare from Tinsley.
The mediator quickly stepped in, nipping a potential fight in the bud, “How about we take a quick break for lunch, everyone is a little hungry, and you never want to do this on an empty stomach. When we come back we can sign the papers and you guys will be good to go?”
That seemed to please everyone and so they all headed off to grab lunch and would wrap things up a little later in the afternoon.
If you need a good Divorce Mediator be sure to check out:
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660
No one wants to talk about divorce. It’s about as exciting as discussing payment plans or leasing agreements. They’re long, messy, boring, and involve all sorts of legality nonsense that no one wants to deal with.
But let’s say you’re in a situation where you just really, really need a divorce lawyer — or at least someone who can seal the deal so both parties can get some closure? Where do you even start? Just Google it and wait for the ones who charge the most to come up first?
This is the conundrum that Ben Greenheld had, the drummer for an up-and-coming rock band in Southern California. The life of a touring musician doesn’t exactly facilitate the separation process, especially when funds must be so carefully handled. This is when Michael Rena, the band’s lead singer, came to the rescue.
“The separation with my ex-wife was painful enough, but not being able to find someone affordable enough to give both of us some closure? That was the really cruel thing. All we wanted was someone who would make the process go as smoothly as possible.”
Luckily, a referral from a friend solved Rena’s problem. This referral pointed to a lesser-known alternative to pricey lawyers: divorce mediation.
“It literally accomplishes the same task, it’s just like a fraction of the price,” Greenheld explained. “When Mike told me about this, I was dumbfounded. I had never even heard of a mediator. Why wasn’t this option more discussed?”
Divorce mediation is one of the best-kept secrets in the industry of family law. Why? Because they don’t have the huge price tags of divorce lawyers that allow them widespread advertising. Think about how both of these men were referred to mediation — through word of mouth.
“Without having a mediator for divorce specifically, I’m not sure how we could have done it. I kept thinking there would be some sort of catch — but it was the exact same result for a tenth of the price. I would give it my highest recommendation.”
Not only is it more affordable, but a mediator can make the divorce process significantly shorter than a divorce lawyer could. Since neither Greenheld nor Rena had children, the typical process could last up to a year. However, when they used a mediator, it took a little over 90 days for everything to become finalized. But, if you do have kids and are going through a divorce, they have amazing support for that as well!
“They certainly don’t rush you by any means,” Rena clarified. “They make sure it’s not one those “on-a-whim” or “power play” things. Just like a divorce lawyer, these guys really have seen everything. And they’re completely professional about all of it.
At the end of the day, most mediators have the same goal: to take something that is already unpleasant in nature, and to make the process as smooth as possible (while not setting fire to your savings account). Rena and Greenheld were shocked that more people weren’t aware of this resource, and I wanted to make sure the word got out. If you have been a reader of this blog for a while, you may remember my own divorce dealings which I wrote about here.
If you are looking for a great divorce mediator, you can check out:
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660 (949) 223-3836
Being rockstar means you get lots of attention. You get attention from your fans, the press, your producer, record label, and way too many tabloids. When you live a fast and exciting life and people learn about it, people become drawn to it. I believe that one of the reasons fans like to come to see us play is because they get to live vicariously through us. To take a part in our crazy lives. People romanticize the rockstar lifestyle because in a lot of ways it is romantic. As your fame grows, so does the amount of women or men that are after you. In my case, many many women want more than just watching a show. They want a bigger piece of this rockstars life. Vicariousness isn’t enough so they use lust and love as an avenue straight into a rockstars life. Speaking from personal experience, it works. I have had my fair share of quick lusts and loves. Women that blow into my life as quickly as they leave. Some leaving some minor scrapes and bruises and others taking big chunks that leave even bigger scars. Good thing I like scars. They add depth and complexity to the persona that is my rockstar image.
Over the course of a rockstars career, he or she will meet one or two special people that will change things forever. They are the people you write songs about, show off to the public, fall asleep with every night regardless of the many other bed offers, and ultimately love at a deeper level than you even knew you had. Once in this territory, marriage becomes a real viable thing when it once was a joke. That thing normal people did, never a rockstar. Nope, marriage can be for everyone, until it’s not. What? Did you think I was going to tell you about a happily ever after? This is a rockstars marriage and most of them do not last. Mine was no different. I met this beautiful California girl from Orange County. She was something else. She was so good at keeping my attention, I almost lost my fame. My life continued to be hard and fast but it was mostly in her direction instead of my own. When I tried to reestablish my public image as still the head of the band in my own rockin power, she wouldn’t have it. She wasn’t getting my undivided attention anymore. She was getting plenty of my attention but less than before would never be enough. So what happens next? Divorce and that gets real dicey real fast when fame and fortune are involved. What I learned is you can litigate or mediate and boy is mediation the cheaper and more cordial route. You just have to convince the other party to mediate, which I did successfully! How you ask? I found the best mediation specialist in Orange County, where she was from. This mediation expert was able to walk us through our divorce together costing us 90% less than what it would have if we took the litigation route. I don’t believe in any other magic other than the magic of rock and roll but this family law specialist was able to conjure up agreements that my soon to be ex and I could agree on. For all you other rockstars out there reading this and wondering how in the hell this could be true, I assure you that it really is. Check out this divorce mediation specialist here on Yelp! I’ve never seen so many good reviews in one place.
Don’t break the bank during your first divorce. You need to be able to keep the rock machine going to you can keep living the lifestyle you love! You also need to make sure you are whole for the second marriage that’s bound to show up when you least expect it. As always, keep on rockin beautiful people and stay tuned for another drop of rockin knowledge in my next post. Rock On!