Jam on down to the blog where you’ll find everything that rocks and a few things that roll. Everything from 1963 – 1975 fits in the blog that covers any amp that’s ever roared. Other than that we have some sub-pages to cover the kangaroos from down under that kepts rocking for a few years and never left much room for Silver Chair or new wave rock to really fill the enormous school boy shoes. The things that really rock these days are a lot more tame like small business growth and investment opportunities. No longer can you rage from dusk till dusk without a drop of water – you’ve got to look out for local deals in spinal wellness and financial stability. Orange County is a pretty gnarly place if you are comfortable being fiscally responsible and patient waiting for the right real estate agent to show your home. These things are part of growing up in a competitive market, however aging rockers will never let something cover their amp. They’ll turn the new life leaf over and smash a double fat strat on the stupid leaf.
I’ll never be part of the crowd, because I was born to rock on stage. I live a bizarre life, and that’s my choice. But what is really bizarre are the coincidences that life seems to throw at me. What can I say? I guess some of us are simply chosen by the universe to play along.
After my last two termite infestations caused my stage to collapse both times while my band I were performing, I decided that the universe was sending me a sign. I have always known my life purpose to be to inspire people with music, but as I get older, I can’t help but think that the universe wants me to do something greater. After my second stage disaster, I knew that the divine was telling me something.
I figured that this was some type of mystical executive order, that I needed to tell everyone I knew about how my termite problem almost killed us on stage. Made sense to me. After all, what would be the point of live performances if we all ended up dead or injured on a broken stage? I kept having nightmares about this happening again. I couldn’t bear the thought of it happening to anyone else.
Last week, I sat down in my studio and pulled out my phone. I called each of my bandmates and said “Listen, I know this sounds crazy, but I can’t stop thinking about those times when the stage broke while we were performing live. When was the last time you had a termite inspection? I know this sounds paranoid, but I’m calling everyone I know to warn them about the dangers of termites.”
My bass guitarist Adam said that he had noticed that his wooden floors were creaky as of late, and that there seemed to be musty smell to them. I freaked out and told him “Adam! You need to get inspected right now. They could be eating at your floors as we speak!”
I have learned about the termite warning signs the hard way. If you’ve got floors that sound hollow or squeaky, you might have a termite problem – definitely not music to anyone’s ears. It’s possible that you’ve got dry-wood or subterranean termites.
“Buddy, you need a termite inspector to get in there and possibly save your life,” I told him. Adam immediately found a service for termite inspection in Pasadena, and booked an appointment with them.
Sure enough, they found termites! They had been feasting on his house and Adam didn’t even know. Boy, it would have been a nightmare if his floors collapsed like our stage did!
Did I save his life? Maybe. Did I save him from injury? Probably. Did I save his house being destroyed by termites? Definitely.
I was no angel in my hayday, but I must say that this moment in my life felt quite holy. I’m starting to think that educating people on termites must be an opportunity I’ve been given to restore my karma. How divine!
I don’t mean to brag, but I throw the best parties. My daughter keeps telling me that I’m trying to relive the old glory days and feel young again, but I tell her that I’m just young soul trapped in an old body who can never have too much fun!
I can always count on my best friends to turn on the good times and tear it up. Unfortunately, they also tear up my lawn. Every time we’re finished partying, it looks like a storm passed through and ripped the ground up from underneath! What a nightmare. I have to pay someone to come in every time and fix my lawn after every party because of how bad it looks. It’s been a massive chore to deal with and I’m starting to dread waking up in the morning after to see the damage. It isn’t pretty.
My daughter keeps telling me to stop drinking, dancing, and stomping around with friends at our house, but we all know that I’m not slowing down any time soon. Especially not when I throw the best parties in town – even the paparazzi take note!
I figured that if I wasn’t going to be taking my parties down a notch, that I’d have to take my grass up a notch. Sounds weird, I know. What I mean by that is I needed tougher grass. That’s basically what an artificial lawn is; the look and feel of grass, but tougher and more durable.
I started thinking about how great my life would be if I could preserve the beauty of my backyard with artificial turf. But I still wasn’t entirely sure about it after thinking about it. I had a hard time figuring out if the artificial grass would even look good. After all, I didn’t spend all the time and money on a gorgeous backyard patio and hood just to ruin the scenery with some ugly looking grass!
I pulled out my laptop and typed into Google: artificial grass installation Orange County. I came across NoMow Turf. “Interesting!” I thought to myself. The company name made a good point I hadn’t even thought about before. Artificial turf isn’t just longer lasting, it also doesn’t require time and money to be mowed!
Anyways, right away I see photos on their site. I’m thinking “This is cool. This looks pretty good.” Then I’m thinking “This is pretty impressive.”
I called them and ask for a quote. They were very professional at answering my questions and setting up an appointment.
Once the new lawn was installed, I couldn’t believe how amazing it looked! Even my daughter said, “Dad, you made the right choice. This was a good call.”
The very next weekend we had the gang over to tear it up again. However, this time they didn’t tear up my lawn! For the first time in many parties, my backyard didn’t look like the aftermath of a disaster. Boy, was I relieved! Also, the backyard looks better than ever.
If you’re tired of your beat up old lawn, give NoMow Turf a call and see what they can do for you.
26774 Vista Terrace, Lake Forest, CA 92630, USA
I don’t mean for my ex-wives and ex-girlfriends to be such a big deal on this page. The bad parts of being a rock star aren’t super fun, are they? But hey, you’ve got to accept the bad with the good sometimes. And, when you rock ‘n rolled as hard as I did, you’ve got to expect that I was a pretty busy guy. I played hard and fast with my heart. I don’t regret all of it, you see, I’ve got beautiful kids from it, including my wonderful daughter.
But, I also wasn’t completely out of it, I knew I’d need a pretty badass family law attorney to make sure that my ex-wives didn’t get more than they deserved or take me for all I’ve got. Of course, I wanted to make sure my kids never wanted for anything—and they didn’t! Shuff Law had my back.
At the time, I needed the best family law attorney in Santa Ana. See, with so many of them, it’s hard to know who to go with. So, I did a little digging and talked to a few of my resources. They all said that Shuff Law Firm was the best divorce attorney in Santa Ana. So, I went with them. After my first divorce went smoothly, I knew that they were going to be my go-to attorney in the future.
Now, I never planned on getting a divorce. I wanted them all to work out. But, I’m actually a practical kind of guy and I could tell when splitting up would be for the best, but that keeping in contact with them would be the best thing for my pocketbook and my kids. And they were.
Over the years, I’ve kept in contact with all of my exes to make sure everything was as it’s supposed to be. Shuff helped to make sure my exes didn’t try anything with me, and when they did, they were on top of it before I even had to worry.
Located in Santa Ana, Shuff Law Firm is just a phone call away, even when I am out touring with the band. I know I’m not that special either because they have a 100% response rate on Yelp with a less an hour response time. That’s really good for a divorce attorney that’s in high demand.
Now, my own daughter is having marriage troubles. At first, she kind of laughed when I suggested Shuff Law Firm to her. She said she didn’t want to use the same attorney as her dear ol’ Dad, but I managed to persuade her eventually. I showed her all of the cases that Shuff won for me, and how they were fair to my wives and not just myself. I think that’s what convinced her.
She’s gone off for her consultation, and I know that she’ll be represented by the best. I wouldn’t send my daughter to anyone but the best. She was emotional about the whole ordeal, and Shuff Law are experts at navigating the harsh waters of divorce while remaining compassionate and sensitive to the issues. My hat goes off to them. They’re good people.
Shuff Law Firm
2107 N Broadway #301, Santa Ana, CA 92706
We ended up in San Diego where the band filmed that nostalgic music video last time. San Diego used to be one of our favorite places to go on tour. The fans were great. The food was great. Some of my favorite memories are there. And some memories I may have forgotten about. Well, one such memory came back, and with a vengeance. Not cool, man.
See, being a rock star means having a lot of crazy ex-girlfriends from all over the country (and world). Most of them weren’t serious, and I thought they knew that, but apparently not all of them got the message. One of them heard the news that the guys were back in town, and she sure made sure I knew it.
It was like she waited for the perfect moment to mess with us. At 45 mph, it took bumper cars to a whole new level. Our drummer ended up with some totally not cool whiplash, and I sure didn’t feel great afterward either. Luckily, we knew of a great car accident attorney in San Diego.
We called up Villasenor Law Offices immediately. We already knew they were well known for being a boss personal injury attorney for the San Diego area. Villasenor may have also gotten us out of a scrape or two previously.
After calling them up and explaining the situation, they were immediately at our side. Their first priority was to make sure we received proper medical attention, then they focused on the case. They know what their clients are owed, and they’ll work hard to make sure you have the greatest recovery from any incident.
After I figured out who she was, I told them my theory. They made sure to get eyewitness testimony of the woman swerving around traffic with an obvious intent to hit us and consulted with field experts to verify that it couldn’t have been an accident. Mr. Villasenor over 25 years of experience were clearly on display that day. He covered all of his bases.
It turned out not to be a long, drawn-out legal battle. Villasenor Law Office had their t’s crossed and their i’s dotted. We received what we were owed, and not only that, but I got a restraining order against her. I’ve no idea if she would try something like that again, but if she does, I’ll be protected! I know love can make you do some crazy things, but man, she took the cake.
Our trip to San Diego was otherwise completely uneventful, luckily! We were smart enough to take a taxi for the rest of the time and my drummer got some much-needed rest. I was so glad I had Villasenor saved on my phone that day. You never know when something like that will strike, and when you’re in the moment and stressed, it’s reassuring to know you’ve got someone in your corner, ready to fight for you!
If you are ever in San Diego and need a great attorney, reach out to:
Villasenor Law Offices
12396 World Trade Dr, San Diego, CA 92128
Don’t get me wrong. Retirement is pretty great. Enjoying the other sides of life and putting the focus on relaxation and family has been stellar. I’ve certainly been enjoying it. However, I got to talking with the old band about an original song we wrote back in the day. We always thought it was great, but it never quite fit into any of our previous albums or the times. So, it just kind of got swept to the side.
Now that it was brought up again, we all decided that we needed to record it and shoot a killer music video before one of us kicked the bucket. Almost all of the video would feature us singing in an office building and destroying the place. I’m sure you can imagine the content already.
Well, back in the day we had to search for office furniture for our managers and stuff when we were on tour and for our studio. We worked with this great company, Creative Office Design, who evaluated our space and designed the perfect studio with furniture that fit our exact needs in a cool way. It looked so good, we even would have photoshoots in the corner. It was a great place for creative minds. At the time, we were using brand new stuff. However, for the purposes of this video it didn’t make sense to destroy brand new furniture. It also didn’t make sense to spend the money it would cost for that shiny new furniture.
I spent a little extra time on their website, and this ol’ rockstar figured out that Creative Office Design had an office in Los Angeles and used cubicles and other furniture we could use as well! Looks like they are coming in clutch again. So, I gave them a call and they headed over the next day.
Creative Office Design evaluated our set, and had some great ideas and suggestions for the used cubicles to use in the video. They even found some extra pieces on hand that they thought would really give the music video the aesthetic that the band was looking for. It looked so real, and it was going to look so crazy when we destroyed it.
That first day of shooting, I felt almost guilty when I took a baseball bat to the top of a cubicle. It was genuinely great furniture. But, it wasn’t long before me and the mates really got into it. A highlight of the video was when the Billy, our drummer, used his drumsticks on a glass conference table before throwing a chair into it, shattering the whole thing. Epic. The whole song and production process was a throwback of nostalgia and a throwback of fun.
Once it was over though, my daughter made sure to remind me that I was not allowed to completely go back to the old ways. No more late-night partying. So, me and the boys released the throwback single. It ended up being a huge success. I guess we hit the perfect timing of being old enough to be cool again.
And I still got a little rockstar left in me. I snuck home a chair and desk I knew would look great in my home office.
If you need great office furniture, make sure to check out:
Creative Office Design
5230 Pacific Concourse Dr Suite 105, Los Angeles, CA 90045
Now he understood what his ex-wife was talking about. Ex-wives, he thought. The old rock star stood in his robe on the back porch. He had a small patio back there, but otherwise, it was just a plain, perfectly manicured lawn. A home is a lot more than a show house, or a party house, or even a rocking recording room. He had all of those, of course, in all of his beautiful mansions spread across several properties. But, he felt like they were all missing something.
Holding his steaming coffee close to his chest, he stepped outside and sat down.
Despite being a rock star at heart, and a wandering soul to boot, he’s getting older and he knew it. Staying behind the curtain in his older age meant he was spending more time at home. He knew something that was missing in all of them: a place to sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. To live at the home, not just to sleep. Especially now that he could have grandchildren soon.
He closed his eyes and imagined strumming along to the tempo of the ocean.
One of his favorite homes is in La Jolla, nestled into the rugged coastline of southern California. The rocky cliffs and clear water were refreshing. Whenever he’s there, he just wants to be close to the ocean and quietly play his guitar. Of course, he needs an enjoyable place to sit outside and remain anonymous. The last thing he wanted was some journalist knowing he wanted to sit outside and enjoy the sound of the ocean. It’d kill his rock star vibe. Actually, the more he thought about it, he realized he wanted to revamp all his houses. Why not?
Later that day, he reached out to a friend who got him in touch with a landscaping company. They would come and redo his entire front, back, and side yard. Landscaping in La Jolla was a bit of a challenge, but they were up to it. They incorporated a gorgeous bare brick and outdoor BBQ theme. The BBQ grill was featured as the centerpiece, with a small stage on one side. Beautiful, yet functional. He didn’t know how much cooking he’d get done on the grill, but from his younger days, he knew at least he could make a mean s’mores. La Jolla was home away from home.
The next personal project was a Rancho Santa Fe landscape design. Rancho Santa Fe was where the other famous people go to relax. It was hard to think of himself as famous and a celebrity in that sense. After all, rock ‘n’ roll doesn’t scream caviar, but he couldn’t help but enjoy the perks. There, he had the team design an elegant outdoor setting, complete with a pool and an entertainment system. It’d be a nice place to go swimming and watch movies. The landscape team outdid themselves.
He saved the most complicated home for last: his mansion in San Diego, a high-end landscape project. He wanted to go all out here. The backyard wouldn’t be complete without a swimming pool, grilling and eating area, and a small stage for his own personal rock concerts. You can take the man out of the concert, but you can’t take the concert out of the man.
After the last brick was laid and the final check stroked, he called his daughter.
“Hey hun,” he said. He leaned back in his adirondack chair.
“What’s up?” his daughter asked.
“Nothing much,” he said. “Why don’t you bring the husband over? I got a new pool.”
They did a great job. It was worth it. If you need a good landscaper, be sure to check out:
Torrey Pines Landscape Company
P.O. Box 6742, San Diego, CA 92166
“Tristin, are you still in bed? You need to get up and get ready right now!” Tornado Trixie had entered his room in a swirl, throwing his curtains open. “It’s noon Tristin, NOON! No wonder your marriages haven’t worked out.”
“Ha Ha Trixie,” Tristin muttered sarcastically.
Trixie smiled back at him, “What are little sisters for? Now get up, we need to go meet your divorce mediator. Do you realize the gobs and gobs of money you are going to have to pay if you don’t show up to this meeting? I mean honestly, they might just give everything to her. At least she doesn’t smell like a high school locker room,” Trixie pinched her nose, and fanned her face.
Tristin peeled off his sweaty socks as he sat up, and threw them directly at her head, “I’ll meet you in the car.”
Trixie shrieked and ran out of the room. Five minutes later Tristin joined his little sister in the garage. She was seated in the driver’s side of his new BMW. It was probably good she drove after the night he had. The sped down Ocean Avenue towards the mediator’s office. Tristan had used her before, she saved his ass a ton of money, she is the best divorce mediator in Orange County.
When they pulled in her assistant, Macy, was waiting for them outside, “You’re five minutes late.”
“And you’re paid an obscene amount of money to tolerate me,” Tristin smiled sweetly back.
“Hmm, cute,” Macy replied, “Now let’s go, your ex-wife is here already.” They walked into the building, and minutes later were seated opposite Tristin’s ex-wife, the notorious Tinsley Teagely.
“Tinsley,” Tristin said coolly.
“Tristin,” Tinsley responded. It felt like someone had set the AC to 50 degrees.
“So, let’s get started,” the mediator said, taking immediate control of the situation. “As we all know our clients here have sadly, decided to go their separate ways. While Tristin may have brought in most of the household funds, he feels it is only right that Tinsley is well taken care of after their divorce is finalized.” Tinsley shifted in her chair, she was ready for a fight, but Tristin seemed much more willing to negotiate than she assumed.
They spent a few hours working through all of the belongings and assets. This was the first time they had talked this peacefully in months and both parties were surprised at how easy this process was. Tristin thought he was going to get an earful, and rightfully so given that the marriage is ending because he is an out of control, womanizing party mongrel.”
The mediator smiled and turned to Tinsley, “Look Ms. Teagely, you have been doing an excellent job. You both have. And just think, doing it this way keeps this whole ordeal out of the tabloids. I’m so thankful you didn’t go the traditional litigation route. This would have been made a public spectacle, drawn out for months, and costing you both tens of thousands more.”
“Exactly, and the last thing we need is to be caught up in some pesky, drawn-out public divorce,” Tinsley replied. “I’m just glad we don’t have any kids involved in this. Otherwise, we would need to find a family law firm in Orange County and that would make things so much more complicated.”
Tristin nodded his head in agreement. “You’re right. And didn’t I tell you, she was great? I guess having some experience in this came in handy after all!” Tristin said and then instantly got a glare from Tinsley.
The mediator quickly stepped in, nipping a potential fight in the bud, “How about we take a quick break for lunch, everyone is a little hungry, and you never want to do this on an empty stomach. When we come back we can sign the papers and you guys will be good to go?”
That seemed to please everyone and so they all headed off to grab lunch and would wrap things up a little later in the afternoon.
If you need a good Divorce Mediator be sure to check out:
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660
Imagine you’re in a band. Yes, as an adult. It started out as an ironic hobby, something you did almost as a joke. But then it started gaining actual traction. You didn’t have to seek out venues anymore…they started seeking you. You’re getting calls, messages from friends you haven’t seen in years, calls from people you would’ve never expected..surprisingly, you’re on your way to becoming a financially successful ensemble. That’s how we started out years ago. Now, we’re back together for a reunion tour.
Everything was going great, but then all of a sudden, the drummer in your band gets a phone call during a rehearsal. He steps outside to take it while you tune your guitar, and comes back in like he’s seen his own ghost. Defeated, he breaks the news.
“My application to extend my time here was denied. I have to go back to Canada in two weeks.”
This is what happened to me only a few days ago. No one knows what to say. The band is nothing without George…his drum solos are the reasons many audience members make second appearances. The band chemistry, the specific and unique talent each member brought to the group…it only worked when everyone was on board. You can’t have the Four Seasons without the fourth man — and no one could replace him.
“No,” the keyboardist pipes up. “That’s not happening.”
For the next twenty minutes, we all dispute what little knowledge we have regarding immigration law. Someone says he’d be an undocumented immigrant if he stays, another says it’s fine if he’s a rock star, someone says he could seek asylum, another says “…from Canada?”….nothing really gets done. That is until we finally decide to use the wealth of information at our fingertips.
“Has no one Googled this yet?” I ask. The band members sheepishly stare at the ground.
After a dejected sigh, I finally put “immigration law orange county” into the search bar. The band members grab their respective devices and do the same. The first fifteen minutes were discouraging, but I realized why so many people go into law (spoiler alert: it’s because they make BANK). The band was making a decent amount of money during the tour, but not that much…money was still very much part of the equation, and it made the search more difficult than expected.
“Wait look at this one,” our keyboardist says. He had found a link to a more affordable lawyer via a Yelp review, and she was local. Not only did she have an impressive amount of positive reviews, but every one of her clients agreed that her services were definitely worth the price. George called the number on the website and she picked up in seconds. After briefly explaining his situation, she assured us that he had several means of legally staying in the US longer. They set up an in-person consultation, and from then on, we were never worried about George having to leave us again.
We only hope more people take the time to find these lawyers, rather than thinking their only options are staying illegally or leaving their entire life behind. These kinds of lawyers often unsung heroes, helping people when they need it most and keeping their prices affordable so people don’t spend their last dime just trying to continue their life in the US. And if that isn’t honorable, I don’t know what is.
Here’s one of these great lawyers:
K Nair law Group, P.C.
31897 Del Obispo St Suite 225, San Juan Capistrano, CA 92675
Termites: the reason your neighbor’s house gets covered in a ridiculous circus tent. No one likes dealing with them, which is why so many people put it off until their ceiling foundation looks a little shakey. But believe me, termite infestations are nothing to put on the backburner. In fact, coming face-to-face with the termite problem early on might just save your life.
I had my own personal run-in with these “delightful” little creatures in my own career. I was halfway through a set with my band the other week, we were doing a little reunion tour, getting the guys all back together sort of thing. So we were in the part in the lineup where the energy really starts to pick up. The skies were blue, the crowd was pumped, and stage safety was the last thing on our minds. However, it became painfully relevant all too quickly when we heard a loud creak in the stage.
I am typically in charge of group morale, so I didn’t acknowledge it as a problem right away. After casting a quick nervous glance to my bandmates, I “played it off” (so to speak) with a laugh and continued in my favorite indulgent guitar solo. But I knew it was a problem I could no longer avoid when the stage literally sunk beneath my feet. I felt like we were on the freaking Titanic!
Call it far-fetched, but there is no other way for me to properly explain this. Whichever beam was supporting the weight of me, our drummer, and our equipment had just given up six inches of its original height. I had no idea this was even possible, at least in terms of physics. It was then that we knew it was an actual problem, not the kind you can just dismiss with “peace, love, and rock n’ roll.”
The rescue mission is my favorite part of the story, and I only know it because my manager told me what happened in full detail after the event. After the unfortunate sinking event, our manager went directly to the guys that saved us last time. Longtime readers of this blog may remember a story where termites took down the stage in our recording studio. Because of that, we had a little experience with termite extermination, my manager literally dug through our old records and somehow, by the grace of God himself, found their number just in time.
A fine exterminator from Garden Grove by the name of Marky Mark (okay not really, but wouldn’t that be amazing??) sauntered in with his knowledge of all things extermination. He had saved us once, we were hoping he could save us again. And just to reset the scene, while all of this is happening, we are still jamming away on stage to a huge crowd. Lord knows how he did the job so quickly — I thought the process involved several days-worth of fumigating and quarantining, but apparently, it is doable without such drastic measures. Within what seemed like minutes (one’s sense of time is severely compromised whilst on stage), the problem had evaporated into thin air. The concert continued, the crowd was pumped, and we completed the set on a termite-free stage,
Now I know this sounds far-fetched — termite extermination within a few hours? That’s too science-fiction-y for my taste. But folks, the advances of technology go way beyond SpaceX and self-driving Ubers. The future is now guys, it’s pretty dang cool. And in tribute, I’m writing a new song dedicated to this amazing man who has now saved us twice. Be on the lookout for that! Until then, keep rocking!
Shoutout to my guys at:
Natural Science Exterminating
11642 Knott Ave, Garden Grove, CA 92841
Beep, beep, beep… Snake Robins rolled over in his bed and smacked his alarm clock. The clock read 5:15, not AM but PM. Hmm, he thought, I must have slept all day again. He really needed to get better about setting his alarm clock correctly. Oh well, he thought.
He had a dinner meeting with his friend Rob Reynolds in 45 minutes. He threw some clothes on and headed out the door. The restaurant was walking distance from his old house, so he strolled down the sidewalk in its general direction. His friend Rob was actually working on building his new home, that’s how they had met.
Snake’s fame had revamped within the past year after millennial celebrity Justin Boston had released a cover of his famous 70s song, “I Just Want to Rock”. All of the sudden his music was cool again. He went from being a washed up 70s rocker to a modern-day celebrity. On top of that he had made a pretty penny. So, it was time to ditch his old, run-down bachelor pad. The years of partying had not been kind to it anyways. Snake was moving on to something better, and that’s where Rob came into play. He was known for building some of the nicest houses in the city.
Snake entered the restaurant and saw Rob was already there. “I would complain about you being late but I wouldn’t expect anything different,” Rob said with a grin. Snake noticed it appeared he had already ordered because there were no menus on the table. “I was getting hungry, so I ordered for both of us, I hope you like burgers.”
A waitress approached holding a tray with two plates just as Snake was taking his seat.
“Two ultra deluxe burgers with extra sauce,” she set the plates down in front of the guys.
“We’ve had too many meals together,” Snake said laughing and putting his hands up in surrender. It was nice to have a friend that knew him so well, Snake thought.
‘I thought you might be hungry after a big night,” Rob said smiling.
“How do you know I had a big night?” Snake replied, to which Rob just raised his eyebrows. “Okay fine, thanks,” Snake laughed. “So, what do you need from me?”
“I’d like you to review these plans and sign on the dotted line,” Rob said. He slid a folder and a pen across the table to Snake.
“Woah, I’m going to have a pool, cool!” Snake exclaimed.
Rob rolled his eyes, “Haha, Yeah, we’ve been over this, you are going to have a killer home! If everything looks good, you can sign there at the bottom and I can get started actually building your dream home.”
“This all looks righteous man,” Snake replied, signing his name at the bottom of the document.
“Great, now that I’m your new agent…” Rob replied taking the paperwork back.
“New agent?” Snake asked.
“Ya, you just signed papers giving me 30% royalties on your hits,” Rob replied.
Snakes face reddened, “what are you talking about?” He was pretty confident Rob was joking, but in his world he couldn’t be sure.
“Just kidding!” Rob started laughing hysterically. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to read everything before you sign?”
Snake punched him in the shoulder and replied, “Let’s start
“Well, let me highlight some of my favorite features. In the basement, you are going to have a full-fledged recording studio with soundproof walls so that you don’t disturb the neighbors. You already saw the pool, and we’re going to put in some fountains that spray into it. O, and, there’s a secret room in the library! Like something straight out of a movie. Pull the right book and a door opens up to a little wet bar where you can host private parties.” Rob could tell Snake was pleased with the ideas and was excited to get the job started.
“Rob, what can I say, you work magic, I cannot wait to get into my new home.” Snake said as he was finishing devouring the burger. Snake went home thinking to himself, “I am sure lucky I met Rob and his team, this new house is going to be killer!”
Sailhouse Custom Homes
170 Newport Center Dr Suite 220, Newport Beach, CA 92660
No one wants to talk about divorce. It’s about as exciting as discussing payment plans or leasing agreements. They’re long, messy, boring, and involve all sorts of legality nonsense that no one wants to deal with.
But let’s say you’re in a situation where you just really, really need a divorce lawyer — or at least someone who can seal the deal so both parties can get some closure? Where do you even start? Just Google it and wait for the ones who charge the most to come up first?
This is the conundrum that Ben Greenheld had, the drummer for an up-and-coming rock band in Southern California. The life of a touring musician doesn’t exactly facilitate the separation process, especially when funds must be so carefully handled. This is when Michael Rena, the band’s lead singer, came to the rescue.
“The separation with my ex-wife was painful enough, but not being able to find someone affordable enough to give both of us some closure? That was the really cruel thing. All we wanted was someone who would make the process go as smoothly as possible.”
Luckily, a referral from a friend solved Rena’s problem. This referral pointed to a lesser-known alternative to pricey lawyers: divorce mediation.
“It literally accomplishes the same task, it’s just like a fraction of the price,” Greenheld explained. “When Mike told me about this, I was dumbfounded. I had never even heard of a mediator. Why wasn’t this option more discussed?”
Divorce mediation is one of the best-kept secrets in the industry of family law. Why? Because they don’t have the huge price tags of divorce lawyers that allow them widespread advertising. Think about how both of these men were referred to mediation — through word of mouth.
“Without having a mediator for divorce specifically, I’m not sure how we could have done it. I kept thinking there would be some sort of catch — but it was the exact same result for a tenth of the price. I would give it my highest recommendation.”
Not only is it more affordable, but a mediator can make the divorce process significantly shorter than a divorce lawyer could. Since neither Greenheld nor Rena had children, the typical process could last up to a year. However, when they used a mediator, it took a little over 90 days for everything to become finalized. But, if you do have kids and are going through a divorce, they have amazing support for that as well!
“They certainly don’t rush you by any means,” Rena clarified. “They make sure it’s not one those “on-a-whim” or “power play” things. Just like a divorce lawyer, these guys really have seen everything. And they’re completely professional about all of it.
At the end of the day, most mediators have the same goal: to take something that is already unpleasant in nature, and to make the process as smooth as possible (while not setting fire to your savings account). Rena and Greenheld were shocked that more people weren’t aware of this resource, and I wanted to make sure the word got out. If you have been a reader of this blog for a while, you may remember my own divorce dealings which I wrote about here.
If you are looking for a great divorce mediator, you can check out:
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660
Arthur Duvall is 55 years old. He’s been playing in a 70s themed rock band for about thirteen years, but he’s been running to same old pitfall as almost any marketing campaign:
Those dang millennials.
No matter what he does, he can’t seem to connect with this group of people who were born between 1981 and 1996. It should have been so easy; they love vintage things, especially music. Why was playing 70s music not adding young people to his steadily growing fanbase?
This is where Dr. Larry Schimmer came in. Dr. Schimmer, or Schimm as we like to call him, is the bands business coach and has been studying millennials inadvertently ever since the birth of his daughters in 1986 and 1992, long before he thought about becoming a psychologist for adolescents. His background led to some groundbreaking discoveries on the lost connection between marketers and this “stubborn generation.” I had the privilege of recording one of their converstations about how to connect with millennials and this is how that went down:
Duvall: Why don’t millennials like us old guys?
Schimmer: The first thing you must understand about millennials is that they’re not a fan of the title. More often than not, their generation is associated with laziness, lack of ambition and attention span, when they might be one of the hardest working generations this country has ever seen. They are also a lot smarter than people pin them as, so they can see through many “millennial-catered campaigns” in a heartbeat.
Duvall: What do you mean by “millennial-catered campaigns”?
Schimmer: Have you ever seen a commercial that ends abruptly with a “hashtag” or uses outdated Instagram terms non-ironically? These campaigns essentially communicating the following message to millennials: “we know you don’t understand or care about anything unless we make it ‘shareable,’ so here’s our attempt to reach out to your poor forsaken generation.” It’s essentially calling someone vain and stupid at the same time.
Duvall: Okay, so avoid tech talk. But phones are how millennials are getting all their information — it’s how they even find out if something is trending. How do I even show up on their radar if I am not active on the internet?
Schimmer: Oh, please don’t misunderstand me — your business will definitely not grow without building an internet presence. I merely suggest that you hire a social media manager who matches the age of your target audience. Modern day marketers often think that age=experience, especially in the area of social media. You need someone who has grown up with it, someone who has seen how quickly internet trends come and go, and how ineffective it is to use a trend that will become outdated so quickly.
Duvall: What’s a good example?
Schimmer: My sister used to write for an online magazine that was targeted to women significantly younger than her. There is no problem with this, but she ran into trouble when writing about Snapchat. She constructed this beautiful article about teaching one’s grandmother how to use it, thus creating more consistent connections between extended family. However, the article became defunct within a month when Snapchat updated its entire platform, rendering all her information incorrect.
Duvall: And a younger person wouldn’t have written it?
Schimmer: A younger person probably wouldn’t have spent their time, and your money, working on a campaign that does not have “evergreen” value (by “evergreen” I mean content that usually stays relevant no matter how much time passes).
If I could leave you with anything, it would be this: if you want to connect with millennials, hire a millennial who is experienced in social media work. They usually know to choose good content over trending topics, as well as finding the niche within the huge “millennial group” on which to build your foundation. If you start there, you’re in a good place to start building your reputation with them.”
If you are in the southern California area and could use similar consulting, you can check out:
5 Somerset Dove Canyon, CA 92679
Hey there! I hope everything is doing rockalicious this Christmas season!
I just got back from an amazing tour around Southeast Asia. Wonderful people there.
While I was gone, I was having my home remodeled. We had it all planned out so that the work would be done when I was on tour and it would be ready to go when I got home for the holidays. And let me tell you, the guys I worked with did not disappoint!
These guys are seriously the best remodeling contractors in Orange County!
I’ll just show you what I’m talking about with some pictures of my freshly remodeled home.
First up, here’s my kitchen:
I love the overhead lights and the tile backsplash along the wall. The tile flooring also looks amazing. You should have seen this place beforehand!
Next, check out my bathroom:
That sliding door is so sick and the bathroom looks amazing, my wife loves the white countertops and sinks. And that is just the guest bathroom, here is the one in the master:
I love tile, you can probably tell. I was so excited to get these pictures up I haven’t even had a chance to use the shower! Next up, check out this iron railing they did by my stairs:
I think this looks so cool. It’s fresh and modern. And you have to check out this, it was a dream of mine. It is a fireplace bathroom!
The fireplace is right next to the tub! How awesome is that! And then the TV above it. I will spend hours in that tub!
Alright, the last one for the home tour, check out my remodeled fireplace:
The stone wall all the up to the ceiling is exactly what I wanted! Not only does it all look amazing, but they got it done just in time for the holidays. This is going to be the perfect place to host Christmas with my family!
Now I just need to get all of my decorations up!
So thankful for these guys, if you are looking to get your own remodeling done you can find them here:
Inspired Remodels, Inc.
20992 Bake Parkway, Suite 108, Lake Forest, CA 92630
When was the last time I had checked the mail? It was a valid question that my manager, Stacy was repeating to me. “Um, yeah what?” was my reply. Smart.
“Alex, I said when was the last time you checked your mail? You know the place you get letters from grandma, bills, important tax documents sent to,” she replied, she seemed agitated.
“Oh yeah, the mail. Yeah, I haven’t got one of those,” I replied.
“Alex everyone has “one of those”!” Stacy was yelling now. That was never a good sign. “How can a famous, professional musician not know this?!”
She is infuriated now I can tell. “You have millions of fans, a hit song, and are on the shortlist for standout Rockstar of the year and you won’t be able to attend the ceremony because where will you be? In jail, that’s where all because you haven’t paid taxes, like ever!” Stacy took a long breath and rubbed her temples.
“Could I, like, pay them now?” I asked. Her face turned red.
“I will set up a meeting with a bookkeeper and we will try to get in front of this,” she replied. “I’m serious though you might be going to jail.”
A day past and then my alarm went off at eight. I don’t mean eight PM, I was actually up at eight AM. It was a first for me. I rolled out of bed and got ready. Stacy was waiting outside and we drove to the meeting.
As we walked in the air seemed to drop ten degrees. Two men sat behind a desk with very serious looks on their faces. I could tell they meant business so I thought I’d let Stacy do the talking. Supposedly, this was the best bookkeeping company in the area. We introduced ourselves and they all started talking. I swear I tried to pay attention but my eyes glossed over and honestly, I spaced out. About an hour later I recognized the agent with the bald head was speaking to me. I almost giggled because I realized he looked like Mr. Clean but I held it together.
“Mr. Starfield? Can you agree to these terms?” Crap what… I looked at Stacy. She had her say yes or I’ll kill you face on.
“Yes sir, of course. I’m sincerely sorry again for the hassle and inconvenience I may have caused,” I replied glancing at Stacy. Yay, I thought, now she was wearing her “good boy” face which was way better than the killing me face.
“Alright, we will have the documents drawn up and sent over,” muscular agent was talking now. He looked like Hulk Hogan, but again I didn’t laugh. Go me!
“Ahh, yes,” I replied, “You mean by mail of course.” I smiled.
“Um yes… I mean by mail Alex,” the agent replied.
Stacy looked ready to slap me. “On that note,” she chimed in, “thank you gentleman so much for your time. We will be in touch soon.”
We all shook hands again and Stacy and I exited. “I think that went well!” I said, “So what exactly did I just agree to?” Stacy rolled her eyes and got in the car. I reached for the passenger side door but it was locked. “Um, Stac? The car door is,” and off she went. Geez well, I guess I’ll have to check my mail from now on.
These were the guys we were working with if you were curious:
Smart Bean Inc
17291 Irvine Blvd #104
Tustin, CA 92780
ArrowSith Presents Green Is The Safest Color Benefit Concert
While the wild humdrum of anti-war sentiment may be settling, activism is a far cry from over. New band, ArrowSith, takes the stage this Friday in support of environmental causes for their benefit concert Green Is The Safest Color. Tickets are $3 at the door with a table for further donations. The raised funds will go to a myriad of causes including clean water, less plastic, and natural pest control.
ArrowSith recently took off, hitting #1 on the charts with their new hit single “Before You There Was Me.” The band formed earlier this year lead by frontman Steve Miller (not of Steve Miller Band notoriety), drummer Gary Woodworth, bassist Ernie Hamsterdamn, and keys/percussionist Lillian Farly. Brought together by their mutual appreciation for archery and George Lucas’ revolutionary Star Wars film, ArrowSith brings a spirited angst in their music to illustrate their passion for change.
ArrowSith preaches a message of action through both song and interview. “I can inspire change with just my guitar and a few powerful lyrics. I can multiply that with the addition of each of my bandmates.” Steve Miller explains, “We are young. We are dreamers. We see a world full of chaos and injustice and we still believe something can be done. We have talent and a platform and we intend on using them. We don’t think it’s foolish to try and stop the corporate greed. We think it’s foolish to sit back and do nothing.”
Green Is The Safest Color intends on bringing validity to ArrowSith’s message. Alongside the benefit concert, all profits from merchandise sold at the event will go toward funding a new initiative for environmental education. ArrowSith plans on debuting three new t-shirt designs at the event: one advocating clean water, one advising less plastic, and one supporting natural termite control.
Lillian Farly, who spearheaded both the benefit concert and the new initiative, further describes ArrowSith’s aim. “We have all these activist songs and catchy phrases but that only goes so far. I noticed a lot of issues root from not knowing. If a farmer doesn’t know the pesticides they’re using are harmful, how can they be expected to stop? I didn’t want ArrowSith to be all talk and no action so I went to the band with my concerns. They agreed and we got to talking and I proposed the idea for the initiative. I had no idea how we would pull it off, but together we came up with the idea for Green Is The Safest Color to raise money and awareness. Now that we have some success we can finally maybe pull it off.”
ArrowSith is only in the early stages of actualizing their education initiative. However, supporting Green Is The Safest Color on Friday with attendance or donations is an immediate way to pledge support for their cause. It is never too late to make a change. The environment may be suffering, but ArrowSith and likeminded groups won’t let it happen for long.
Natural Science Exterminating
11642 Knott Ave, Garden Grove, CA 92841
Yo! My friends. I hope you all are doing absolutely amazing today. I am living a golden life and rocking on. I had to get down to my keyboard and share this story with you all, because it rocked my brain with some righteous memories and it simply wouldn’t be right to keep them all to myself.
So, the other night I was with a couple of the guys that I used to jam with. This was way back in the day, before the lights and fame that comes with superstardom, ya know? This was when music was a little more pure. When it was easier to just focus on the craft. So I was with my old buddies and we had an amazing time, busted out the guitars and drums, a few brewskies, and got to playing for hours. Naturally, as we were all chillin we started sharing stories of old times and my buddy reminded me of something I had totally forgotten…mostly because I legitimately don’t have a memory of it.
I was probably nineteen years old. My buddies and I, the original crew, were playing small shows in some local venues at the time. We were at this one club and had a killer show. The house was packed. The babes were smoking. And our music was righteous. We didn’t wrap up our set until about two in the morning. We were exhausted and happy and living the life. We didn’t have roadies or anything at the time so we had to pack up all our own equipment.
Now it’s late at night and I’m carrying some of the equipment out to our van behind the club. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, two guys come up and start hustling me. One of them hit me in the back of the head and knocked me out. The other guys were still inside at this point. When they came out, they saw me lying on the ground and all of the equipment was gone. When I woke up, I was in the hospital and my buddies were all sitting around the room.
I didn’t have any recollection of what had happened, but luckily, the club had a camera monitoring the back alleyway and it caught the whole thing. The two guys had hit me and then taken all of our equipment. The camera caught their faces though. A buddy of mine in Orange County had a personal injury attorney who we were able to connect with. We showed him the footage and he was able to put together a case for me and our band. Not only did he work with the police and they were able to track down all of our stuff, but he also was able get all of my medical bills taken care of.
This guy was amazing and I learned two valuable lessons that night. First, don’t go into dark alleyways by yourself late at night. And second, always have a good attorney who has your back. We would have been lost without that guy.
Alright my beautiful people, that’s the story for today. I’ll catch ya next time.
Welcome back to the blog where you get to read about some of the stories of an old decently famous rock star that prefers to keep his identity anonymous. I wouldn’t want my opinions on here to be read through what was my rock star persona. I prefer you remain as objective as possible so you can form your own responses based on these words and not some image you may have of me. All that being said, are you ready for my next installment!? Well I guess it doesn’t matter if you are or not because here it is.
When you start your climb to stardom, a lot of interesting things happen along the way at different tiers of fame. When you start becoming locally famous, it is fun to go out and get the locals asking you how things are going like they are somehow family. Every once in a while, some people ask to take some photos. Some even go as far as to tell you not to forget them when you make it big. You always give a solid nod and a “I won’t”. While I can remember most people, I certainly don’t actively think about them. If we ever cross paths again, I’ll do my best with your name. Anyways, the next level is landing the opening act with some bigger named bands in your genre. At this point you should have some places out there people can find your music. When you crush an opening act, you want those that liked it to listen more. At this point, you really have to put in the time and hope you have a solid single that makes it on the radio. Until that point, you keep playing wherever you can which leads me to this entry’s story.
One of my good buddies was turning 30 and for his birthday party, the band and I decided to play a set for him. Since we were landing some pretty solid gigs at this point, almost everyone was super stoked. It also felt good to have a lot of your closest friends so excited for you to play for them in a private setting. We told everyone that was invited that they could bring 2 people with them. It was going to be quite the party.
So here we are, around 300 people at this party and we start our set. Obviously, we are crushing it. The whole place is lit and everyone is dancing until suddenly the power goes out! We look around and it looks like it is only our venue space. Everywhere else had power! This was about to be a huge downer until one of the plus 2 guests someone brought ran up on stage and told us he was an electrician from Orange County and knew how to fix the issue. He asked me to tell everyone to give him 5 minutes. I happily obliged. Johnny on the spot nailed the 5 minute marker and we were back finishing our set before the energy got too low at the party. What a champion. After our set, I wanted to know who this electrician from Orange County was so I found him at the party and talked to him. We had a couple of drinks and he told me about his growing electrician business and that if our band ever needed an electrician, he’d be there. What a champion.
I had to look this guys company up. He was a small operation then but now the guy has one the top rated operations in Southern California. If you ever need anything electrical taken care of, I recommend these guys.
That’s all for this entry, until next story and recommendation my faithful readers!
Here we are. Another entry from the studio. While some readers may think this redundant, it logically makes sense as a reflection of a musicians life. As a rock star, especially one that had some success, you spend a large portion of your life in the studio trying to come up with your next big hit. When you spend that much time in a space like that, some crazy things can happen. I believe the last entry from the studio was about how we had termite problem that was unknown to us until we were rockin so hard that the mini stage we had built collapsed under us plunging us into a swarm of those damned bugs. Well, this entry is somewhat related to that post for a few reasons. The loudness of our practice, the structural integrity of something, and the need for a solution that keeps us rocking out like there is no tomorrow. Storytime readers! Here. We. Go.
I’m with the band and my producer at one of our local studios working on this killer song. It was all written lyrically and we almost had all the musical parts ironed out. At the point in which I am dropping you into this story, we had been at it for about 4 hours straight. Whenever a band gets on a roll, there is really no stopping them. We had played every part of this song over and over as loud and as big as we possible could so we could really get a feel for this song. We were all jazzed up and aided with energy so were being pretty hard on our instruments. Luckily, we had started making some good money up to this point so out instruments were of the highest quality and held up just fine while producing some amazingly loud sounds. I have no doubt that even though out studio was sound proof, we could be heard outside out walls. This building experience was something else and honestly pretty hard to describe.
In the fourth hour, we finally finished piecing together out last section of this song. Finally, we could play it all the way through from start to finish with a complete song. We were all buzzing with excitement. We turned everything up to 11 and played out hearts out. At the final crescendo of this, dare I say, masterpiece, the table where the producer was sitting and recording quite literally fell apart. We had actually, over the course of this session, been so loud with vibrations that we undid this table we had setup with the equipment. You should had seen the look on out producers face while he sat there in that chair that also looked like it was on the verge of collapse. Priceless. You tell me if you ever heard of band playing so incredible that it undid the furniture in the room. I know I haven’t.
Now maybe it wasn’t a very nice or new table so we had that going for us. Either way we knew it was time for a upgrade. We turned to some of our friends who referred us to a quality office furniture shop down in the OC. We called them up and got great deal on some new furniture for our studio. It was used too! Who would have thought that used office furniture from orange county would be sturdy enough to withstand our awesomeness. That same furniture is still standing today. We certainly try and see if we can knock it down from time to time but alas, it still remains standing strong. So, if you are ever in the market for some sturdy office furniture cool enough for a rock star, check this guys out!
Until next time my beautiful readers!
In my earlier years, I was known to be unpredictable. Keeping people on their toes was just something I liked to do and I felt that really contributed to my careless, living free rock star lifestyle. While I never randomly did anything too crazy, I certainly liked finding those surprised looks on peoples faces. Oh, and don’t worry, I did things that were entirely too crazy. They were just planned out better. I didn’t want to end the rock star lifestyle too early now. Anyways, the spontaneity I am mentioning is important to my next story and subsequent piece of advice.
Early in my career just as I was starting to gain a following in my music, I lived in California in a little 1 bedroom place close to the beach. It wasn’t that nice when I moved in there and it only got worse as I lived there. I used that place to its fullest extent and more. Parties and jam sessions and cookouts and band meetings and parties. There was always something going on there. By the time I started making real money, I bought the place outright. I wanted to own the place where I got famous. Why you ask? We are getting there.
Shortly after purchasing that little used up place, I bought I bigger newer home to live in with no intention of fixing up the old one. At the time, I honestly wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with that place. All I knew is that I wanted it to be dramatic. So, in my usual unpredictable fashion, I wen’t down there with some friends of mine with a bunch of tools of destruction in the back seat and surprised everyone with my plan! I wanted to demo the place entirely. Out with the old and in with the new! You should have seen the looks on all their faces when I took my first swing of my sledge hammer to the kitchen counter. Priceless. Before I really understood what I was doing, I learned all too fast that you can’t demo any real estate in California without the appropriate paperwork. Thanks old neighbors and the police they called! Wouldn’t have learned that as quickly without ya! So, I needed some help. Lucky for me, things just kind of work out in my favor most of the time. I came across a killer real estate attorney through a friend of mine that had learned of my troubles. I went to meet him and explained my motives and instead of trying to talk me out of it, we dove straight into some solutions. He even wen’t as far as to ask me what I wanted to do once it was reduced to rebel. I told him I wanted to build a large building that was sound proof for a studio. He made sure all that paperwork was in order before I could finishing destroying that place with my rockin sledge hammer I named Thanos! Amazing.
If you are ever inclined to destroy property you own or are just looking to make some serious changes, make sure its all within the appropriate legal limitations of the law or municipal codes of your city. If you have no idea how to determine that, do a smart thing and look these guys up. I can guarantee you’ll be taken care of.
As the popularity of a rock star grows, so does the fun and also some problems. Living as wild and free as you want tends not to jive with everyone. Sure, there are so many people that love following people that live life and make decisions like they just don’t matter. I think that living vicariously through people we idolize is just another way to get through the day. Deciding to become a rock star is to become that idol. I think I can say for certain that not a single person that has made it to idol status has done so without burning some bridges, bumping some heads, putting a booger in the punch bowl , or royally pissing off at least two separate groups of people. You can’t get peoples attention by just making great music. You have to embody legendary status and put on a good show both on and off the stage. With all this wild living and fame comes people who are really not going to like you. At all.
Most famous rock stars have a security team that ensures no one with hate in their heart comes too close. And if they do, they are promptly removed from the scene. Even though this is a nice luxury, being able to protect yourself is both necessary and also straight cool. How many views do you think a video would get on YouTube of a famous rock star knocking the lights out of someone who was out to get them? Millions. So while this post isn’t about taking self defense karate classes or whatever popular one the kids take these days, it is about safety.
WHAT?! Did your legendary anonymous possibly once very popular rock star blogger just say the word safety?! Why yes, yes I did. When the vetting and security checks fail, and your personal bodyguard gets overtaken by some person or people that are out to get you, what do you do? You have a safety net. What is this safety net you ask? A gun. Yep a firearm is a great addition to any rock stars persona. But the trick here is this; you don’t flaunt that you have a gun on tour or in public really. You will want to post some sick videos and pics of you out at a range handling some truly nasty firepower but never will you flaunt that you carry one around. And first and foremost, a rule that we all must live by, get certified and trained. Take the best damn CCW class you can find, get your permit, and keep yourself protected. This is also good for ensuring that when you do go out, it will be in a blaze of glory.
So lets recap. When you get famous, you get to have more fun and also more problems. You should probably take some self defense courses for awesome video opportunities, and go out and get your Concealed Carry Weapon permit. And for the love of those around you that you love, go and take some firearm training courses so that you don’t shoot someone you love accidentally in a self defense shoot out. As I normally do, I have a recommendation for anyone reading that was inspired to take action. There is a great group in Orange County that is amazing and everyone seems to love them. Check them out!
Until next time you sexy devils. Keep rockin like there is no tomorrow, like the shortness of your amazingly bright life is about to reach supernova before burning out. Just make sure you can protect yourself so that Supernova doesn’t go off prematurely.
Being rockstar means you get lots of attention. You get attention from your fans, the press, your producer, record label, and way too many tabloids. When you live a fast and exciting life and people learn about it, people become drawn to it. I believe that one of the reasons fans like to come to see us play is because they get to live vicariously through us. To take a part in our crazy lives. People romanticize the rockstar lifestyle because in a lot of ways it is romantic. As your fame grows, so does the amount of women or men that are after you. In my case, many many women want more than just watching a show. They want a bigger piece of this rockstars life. Vicariousness isn’t enough so they use lust and love as an avenue straight into a rockstars life. Speaking from personal experience, it works. I have had my fair share of quick lusts and loves. Women that blow into my life as quickly as they leave. Some leaving some minor scrapes and bruises and others taking big chunks that leave even bigger scars. Good thing I like scars. They add depth and complexity to the persona that is my rockstar image.
Over the course of a rockstars career, he or she will meet one or two special people that will change things forever. They are the people you write songs about, show off to the public, fall asleep with every night regardless of the many other bed offers, and ultimately love at a deeper level than you even knew you had. Once in this territory, marriage becomes a real viable thing when it once was a joke. That thing normal people did, never a rockstar. Nope, marriage can be for everyone, until it’s not. What? Did you think I was going to tell you about a happily ever after? This is a rockstars marriage and most of them do not last. Mine was no different. I met this beautiful California girl from Orange County. She was something else. She was so good at keeping my attention, I almost lost my fame. My life continued to be hard and fast but it was mostly in her direction instead of my own. When I tried to reestablish my public image as still the head of the band in my own rockin power, she wouldn’t have it. She wasn’t getting my undivided attention anymore. She was getting plenty of my attention but less than before would never be enough. So what happens next? Divorce and that gets real dicey real fast when fame and fortune are involved. What I learned is you can litigate or mediate and boy is mediation the cheaper and more cordial route. You just have to convince the other party to mediate, which I did successfully! How you ask? I found the best mediation specialist in Orange County, where she was from. This mediation expert was able to walk us through our divorce together costing us 90% less than what it would have if we took the litigation route. I don’t believe in any other magic other than the magic of rock and roll but this family law specialist was able to conjure up agreements that my soon to be ex and I could agree on. For all you other rockstars out there reading this and wondering how in the hell this could be true, I assure you that it really is. Check out this divorce mediation specialist here on Yelp! I’ve never seen so many good reviews in one place.
Don’t break the bank during your first divorce. You need to be able to keep the rock machine going to you can keep living the lifestyle you love! You also need to make sure you are whole for the second marriage that’s bound to show up when you least expect it. As always, keep on rockin beautiful people and stay tuned for another drop of rockin knowledge in my next post. Rock On!
When you think of what a party looks like, what comes to mind? I’m sure the answer varies greatly from person to person. You have parties that are small with a few of your close friends where you have dinner and maybe some fancy drinks. You have parties that are large where you, your close friends and everyone you all could possibly know all converge on one spot to enjoy loud music, drinking, and maybe an outdoor activity like swimming or an indoor activity like dancing. Then you have all the parties in between! Fraternity parties where drinking in the primary mission or sorority parties where the mission is also drinking but with much less beer. You have house parties and boat parties and yacht parties and beach parties and cabin parties and everything in between. Generally, as a species, we like to party. Now as you are thinking of all the different types of parties I didn’t list here, let me tell you about a special brand of party. The Rock Star’s party. Think about taking a little bit from every party you can think of, and roll it into one, over the top, crazy elaborate, lavish, no rules, but some rules, but not really, intense, lovely event party that normally goes on way too long.
Ah yes, and it’s always colorful! From balloons to paint to bathing suits and bikinis to confetti and streamers, we have it all most of the time. It is hard not love these parties as a rock star. You never know who and what you are going to get. You just tell everyone to invite everyone, create a guest list so it seems way more exclusive than it is, and tell 5 different party planners different styles of parties you want all in one place and BOOM! You have the makings of a rock star party. The only thing you need is a rock star. Unfortunately, most of us are not for hire.
Alright so believe we have covered quite a bit of partying here. Everything above is what you see on the surface and in large part how things go most of the time for a rock star. What you don’t see is how we all stay grounded enough to lose ourselves in all that partying. Trust me, it’s easy to do. What is our secret? How do we stay focused and grounded enough to keep being a star? Do we stop drinking all of the time? PSSssshhh NO! The cumulative hangover would probably kill us. We slow things down to a special level of partying. We go to wine parties!
So this is a whole different animal. The pace is way slower, but it’s sophisticated. It’s a needed break from the constant loud music and the general roar of a crowd. Instead, you are able to get together with some people you really enjoying conversating with and intelligently discuss the complexity of the wines we decided to imbibe. The ambiance is normally calming which helps bring the tension we normally have throughout our bodies and mind release in a great way. Well, the ambiance is one part, wine certainly inspires most of the relaxing. My favorite part of it all is that I get to continue drinking while not being judged, flex my smart brain muscles, and hang out in the coolest vineyards and venue spaces that normally exude a nice level of class we normally don’t roll around in.
From barrel rooms to cellars to tasting rooms and more, wine parties are a great time and they really help keep us rock stars grounded with our heads relatively clear… well as clear as the wine allows. This pace of party also lends some great perspective. The actual taste of alcohol can be truly enjoyable. You can slow down from the normal chug of one thing or another. So, whether you are in Ventura drinking wine in a tasting room or in Napa sipping bubbly on a vineyard, make sure you are indulging in the things that make you feel calm while also putting a smile on your face.